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Poems pass brush past without a glance so tight in your special little life happy with those simple little thoughts safe and sound in that bland blind space missing all the stunning splendor the shocking pain the bitter sweet press of the big bad world so beautiful and ugly wrapped up so poigniantly intruding on that sanitary fiction you call a life fierce is your denial! lamp darkened room eyes empty wispered breath thumping heart fail to disturb blanketing stillness flailing arms grasping hands twisting fingers fumbled switch click light illuminating empty fears washed away by a simple lamp fade golden glow fades as the sun falls below the curve of the earth the city slowly retreats into the growing mist spikes of life jutting forth from the hungry fog ash burn this hurt from out of my mind this grinding heavy pain this dragging burden that refuses to release my soul from its hungry teeth I can not love i will not love there is no room in my burnt out ash of a heart. how then can i face the demands of this glint of hope that glitters before my eyes? every breath reaches out, every surge of the blood thru my veins demands a change from the drowning solitude bite quiet.... lunge! stretch out and bite chomp hard hold tight pull this moment of passing passion close rare are the fliting breaths that carry hopes beyond the breath that gives them life resignation gaze passes across the crowd settling nowhere eyes turning away blank looks empty faces no soul returns the hope of an empty heart yearning, hoping disparing no strength left for any dream of something else beyond this hollow moment speak who leaves their story in the ears of strangers? hold it close never speaking. let them sit in lonely silence my heart is not for them they can burn twist and turn gasp and cry my soul burns hot held precious, tight never cheap. listen close! all you hear is noise. you have not earned, your desires remain empty, unfulfilled. as i dance quietly away. bleed poring out flooding forth spilling freely at my feet I scream quietly minds eye wide gaze clenched tight heart boiling frantic clasping dripping out between desperate fingers sharply burning dripping dripping slowly bleeding my hearts blood dry shadows. forlorn despair. hope drains away into the silent dust mark gotta get this thing quick! grab it hold it wrap my arms around it before it gets away. ah yeah.. nope. gone. watch another moment pass. check the box almost mourn the loss but not quite. whats another maybe, in a sea of nothings? just another mark on a long boring list. apart twirling about, feet flashing, twisting and turning, around and around. smiles, knowing looks, bodies pressed close, arms intwined. pretty faces, flashing dresses, happy people. and yet... here am i. standing. watching. never a part, of the song, the dance goes on, without me. denied desire grows so quickly, without reason. blood speaks to mind, heart roars loudly, flesh demands, satisfaction! denied. tired another day passed and i look back for the changes it may have left on the shadow a life can leave on the world around us. eyes wide, searching, seeking just looking for something. anything. yet... all i find are the same marks the last day left nothing new nothing changed nothing different. what can anyone do, to make direction for this monolithic mass that is our reality? ah yes... the hopes and dreams we grasp so tightly to, desperately seeking a new truth denying the obvious reality. those visions of the world I dream of, in defiance of despair. balancing this hope for meaning against the press of pain. unfulfilled gentle smile, passing glance, of knowing affection. soft caress, gentle kiss, familiar scent, patient lovers touch. what pretty dreams i hold inside my burning heart, never to be found, no hope in front of tired eyes. wishes turn to choking dust desires everlasting unfading unfulfilled bleed those weeping wounds we carry close never willing to let go weigh us down slow our steps drag our heads close to the ground but what choice presents? what branch in the path resolves itself, appears from the mist of our pains? our movements strained change progressing days mound up heaped behind us hearts mending though still bleeding... stop so many things I do later burn fail to settle peacefully crushing hope stirring dark thoughts of failure and disappointment trailing shreads of confidence scattering faith in self dragging desperate desires always unfulfilled leaving stubborn shards bitter remnants of dreams long abandoned hollow breaths failing to fill the following days backporch walk down the hall pass the doors that open into parts of strangers lives don't stop to wonder never question all that has walked this route before facing forward always forward never looking back at what has past never seeing yesterdays pain turn away from others choices moving straight ahead goal in mind escape stretch forth a hand step thru, pass beyond the screen door seconds what moment grabs my sight? how can i question? not a chance to grasp the import let these seconds flitter by counting passing time missing nothing. fallen gathering close the things that pass never holding tight enough that which matters slipping between crippled fingers weakened hands falling quickly past the grasp of reaching, stretching arms dwindling away into the abyss missed passing through this night I wonder how to appreciate the current state of my heart not knowing truely where I am with you forelonely missing your attention yet desperately hopeing now is more than i think it is accepting the reality that where we are is still a mystery and forever more most likely still to be happens and so it happens that I find myself in this situation of happiness and confusion glad to be here for the moment yet so uncertian how I arrived at this welcome place wondering wistfully will it persist? knowing in my heart that nothing precious ever lasts grateful for a moment of fleeting serenity ephemeral as the moment may be grasping tight reluctantly engrossed as a pleasant respite drifts quickly into somnolence yield Passion quickly builds and swiftly fades. when it lingers what does it mean? Something new, something precious, a treasure to hold close. Doubt removed, questions answered, hope fulfilled. How does a heart resist? Blissful yielding, gladly bending, stubborn resistance quickly fading, eager anticipation swiftly growing, reservations slipping gratefully, dreams defined. moment one moment passes and another quickly aproaches then what do we find? another question another doubt another regret... or do we see a new begining another opportunity our time in the sun but who can say what the next moment brings not I... morose Dour musings drag me down, slowing my thoughts, weighing heavy my heart impatiently i tread the waters laping cold against the ragged edges of my soul desperately seeking solace in forgetfullness, yet knowing each actions futility passion dulled into a mindless somnolence, weariness endlessly incumbering tide steps, paces gently back and forth, turned under, churned. breaking softly, urgently, almost gently, never tiring. grasping, greedy, steady pulling, always hungry. smoothly gurgling, whispering, laughing, unfathomable. concealing, revealing, arbitrarily discriminating. tired drooping, dragging, stumbling yawning big yawns blurry sight, slurred speech, staggered steps yearning for stillness slow thoughts, sore muscles, weary days acheing heart basket randomly filled, tossed, jumbled acheing, overflowing, memories gathering patiently waiting, slowly filling need building, procrastinated hurriedly grasped, rudely dumped, empty ignored old deeply thinking, slow to anger memories weighing heavy simple pleasures recognized value found in every passing moment longings muted to a simmer passions ebbed but not gone out patiently waiting for a spark Sorrow Lost and missing, past fades slowly lingers long, drifts thru thoughts passing before the eyes of the mind leaving echos of itself each moment less clear than the past every memory pressing its shadow on the soul dragging hurts out from the dark depths painful wounds to rench and tear selfs own image wavers, weakens over time regrets and moments unrecoverable thoughts and deeds beyond the grasp wool of ego roughly shorn, bareing bleeding skin lost passing time slips thru grasping fingers yet do they truly reach for the moment? or do we only give the desire for continuity lip service perhaps past desires and possibilities are gladly relinquished thankfully released to the grinding shoes of time gratefully forgotten, left to fade no more joys held close yet also no more sorrows to haunt our dreams how can we regret that which is forgotten? the saving grace of sought after ignorance desperately chased, blissfully embraced pleasure and agony gratefully forgotten solace found in bland mediocrity. hope passing close to the moments fire singed yet not burnt no credit goes to the one who navigates without sight glancing grasp of the portentous vision passing quickly before dimming perception leads on to ignorance failing to find the meaning plainly displayed yet rarely observed hopes contenance obscured irrevocably lost desire where is the one we seek when our heart is most yearning for peace? why does not our souls desire seek us in turn? why do we only dream yet never hold our passions truest intent? desire is always most poignant when outside the reach of desperately stretching hands release spin, twist, stretch and reach. always grasping, arms outstretched. hearts desire out of reach. passions build, ache and burn. sweet release, forever not. shores gone baby gone baby gone baby gone the things we say the things we think the things we wish the thing we watch pass us by... where are you when the sun goes down? where is your heart? where is your soul? drifting slowly down the stream aimlessly passing, the shores slipping by. passing slipping quickly thru the rain swept street to pass inside the dry doorway shaking off drops of water clinging to the umbrella musty damp lingering falling drops puddled past slashed across my vision, the moment passes by too fast to comprehend leaving a streak in my sight struggling to grasp the import i clutch at the remnants of quickly fading memory desperate to understand what just transpired yet doomed to incomprehension by the failing flesh what treds so heavily upon my soul? what passes so swiftly thru my minds eye? why can i not hold on to this moment past which my heart so desperately reaches after? bitterness descends upon my barren thoughts accepting the reality of opportunity lost never to be regained moments yearned for but ever out of reach. apathy where do we start when that which used to matter no longer does? how do we find a sense of direction, a path to follow, when we are lost? we search for hope, not believing, yet not deceiving ourselves with empty promises. floating around the point where despair begins and our futures end. passed wistfully savored taste of recently passed desire clinging not to faded hope or opportunity bitterly missed but fondly teasing the moments the gentle, insistant hand of time inevitably blurs the edges leaving nothing more painful than passing, flighting fancy leaning forward falling catching hold barely holding onto balance world spinning eyes blurred feet unsteady head is fuzzy spinning round grasping breath buzzing lips grabbing tightly fleeting pleasure screaming morning brightly burning morning sun slamming down night is done breath each breath comes short quickly drawn desperately pulled into aching lungs frantic moments desperation builds panic looms stretching out gulping air breath scraped in lungs filled hope presses forth from each treasured draw of air reach what we want is never what we need forever beyond reach live the desires of our heart always distant are our dreams quickly past fly any chances of catching more than passions distant shadows skin when i walk down the street i watch the people pass by i watch the steps they take the faces they make as they walk on by i can not help but wonder what thoughts go thru those heads those vagrant passing fancies flittering thru with narry a trace left behind skin deep inside those pretty faces such pretty skin |